i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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