Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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