All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
