Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
