shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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