How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
