thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
