To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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