oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
