I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
