Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
