Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
