Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
