your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
