so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
