If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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