why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
