HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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