I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
