walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
