we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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