I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
