Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
