Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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