cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
