I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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