Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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