So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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