i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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