i just snorted my name. best moment ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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