just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
