..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
