Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
