There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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