There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
