Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
where am i from again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
