My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
