i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
