At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize