Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Im part way to drunk.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
