i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
