According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
