ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
