Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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