Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
