his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
