If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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