I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
