yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
