I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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