Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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