shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
