From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
