Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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