if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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