I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
