I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
