And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
