Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize