Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
