Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
