please come you make the beer taste better
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
