I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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