All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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